I'm so sorry for you. I have no solution for that. To me you'd probably look like a worthy mind, a good student and colleague. Are there other new hires in the company ? or is it mentioned from older employees ?

Also, with a bit of mental training (say meditative thinking) you can tame some of this effects. I know I now can recognize when my brain take an unnecessary turn and can slow down. It's far from perfect but it helps. Don't think it's unavoidable, get fun time, stop listening to the fears too much.