Re:No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
by ryanmarsh on Monday December 05, 2016 @04:56AM
(#13104413)
Yes. Natural consequences and contrived consequences are two very different things.
Re:No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
by andrei_says_ on Monday December 05, 2016 @04:26PM
(#13109790)
Exactly. A good example of natural consequences:
You forgot your jacket. It rains. You get wet.
A good example of manipulation/constructed "consequences":
You didn't write your homework. You don't get to play video games.
And, by the way, if you want your kid to hate a specific video game, turn it into (home)work. This is the approach schools take to killing our children's creativity and natural curiosity.
The purpose of parenting is not to control the children but to support them in learning themselves and the world.
Human beings are intelligent and wired for success. It doesn't take long before we start realizing the difference between choices that don't matter to us and ones that do.
If you're looking for parenting practices that support self knowledge in a collaborative and respectful environment, I recommend "Raising Our chikdren, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Alford.
Offering fake choices does not respect the intelligence nor dignity of human beings.
And, we need to acknowledge that manipulation is probably a better approach than psychological abuse (time outs) and threats to a child's physical safety (spanking).