Re:No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
by snowwrestler on Monday December 05, 2016 @04:24AM
(#13104295)
What's more likely--that you understand children better than people who spend their entire lives working on that, or that you have misunderstood the advice the article gave?
The point of the article is not that offering a binary choice is a panacea. The point is that you have to model the behavior you want, and reinforce it with praise. Just saying "no cookie" does not give the kid a positive action they can take. Offering a choice of what they can have gives them something to do. And the few times they do it, you have to be ready to make a big deal about how great that was.
Of course a kid who wants a cookie is going to be diappointed if you offer a banana or an apple. No one can change that. What you can train the kid to do is better manage disappointment. As they learn to do that--through positive reinforcement--the drama goes down. That's what the article is about.
Re:No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
by nkozyra on Monday December 05, 2016 @01:37PM
(#13107952)
Your baseless presumption aside, my response was more general than related specifically to this article.
Re:No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
by WalterSear on Monday December 05, 2016 @12:45AM
(#13103621)
More than one four year old of my acquaintance know a bullshit false dichotomy when they see one.
Because children of that age (and younger) have two traits that will always trump logic:
1. Defiance (better described as a need to understand independence)
and
2. A lack of long-term thinking
When a child - who wishes to experience control - wants a cookie, a choice between a banana and an apple is untenable.
Be wary of interpretations that give you broad-reaching advice on how to essentially manipulate children. This - child psychology and help - is a huge industry; interpreting studies to fit a narrative is simple and rarely meets argument.