I wish Apple would just change the agreement to say "if your app isn't totally polished to our legendarily exacting concepts of quality, we reserve the right not to bless it with the App Store".

It wouldn't make anyone even sort of happier, but I can't help but feel it's closer to the truth of the matter than questions of language use. I highly doubt Apple would cry if a top notch app was developed in Haskell so long as the developer knew the burden of maintaining the API divide and still delivered. It makes me feel the whole thing is a matter of lacking trust and legalese, and though language restrictions seem dumb I myself can't think of a better way to achieve the goals Apple appears to be aiming at.