I see my wife as "family."

You don't abandon family.

Then again I'm Asian so perhaps our sense of family is different. For example, we often treat our cousins like siblings.

You should never make a blanket statement like "you don't abandon family." There are many situations where the best (and only) option is to get away. This includes both your spouse and your family. Abuse is one obvious example.

I'm not saying that we should run away at the first sign of mental health issues. I just think that there are plenty of situations where it might be the right decision. It's obvious in extreme cases, but the decision will always be extremely difficult.

For what it's worth, I think most people view their spouse as "family". It's hard to imagine a different arrangement.

I agree with you. My parents are very, very toxic people. I still see them a couple times a year but the best thing I ever did for myself was stop trying to have any kind relationships with them.

Honestly, it isn't. But I'm waiting until I can sort somethings that are related to my kid so he doesn't have to suffer. After that, I think I'll be out, but until then, I need to 'put up' with it for his sake.