My old boss had the motto:

  "Treat the cleaners like they're The Queen; treat The Queen like she's a cleaner"

I took this to mean: treat cleaners with respect & appreciation; do not fawn and scrape to your bosses.

Similarly: "grief travels up, praise travels down" and "be nice to those you meet on your way up as you may well meet them again on your way down".

I use all of these mantras on a daily basis and I believe they work. I can't guarantee my food is spittle free but I have never had reason to believe otherwise.

I confess I have been known to break this rule with phone spammers.

Caretakers and canteen staff.

I'm a teacher: the canteen staff know a surprising amount about students and can spot changes in mood/attitude very quickly. Its uncanny. Caretakers basically run the building. Advanced warning of furniture moving needs, and any special setups and a quick word of thanks afterwards, ensures smooth running. Good reception staff know where everyone is.

I am similar but even more wide spread. Receptionist, anyone. I also try to do the same for anyone I deal with in a customer service role out in the world. Even the smallest thing really can make someone's day a little better, and isn't that worth the insignificant effort to do it?

To add onto this, I remember explaining the idea of our devops team to my non-technical/muggle coworkers at one point. Explaining how "the cloud" and "servers" are really just OPM (other peoples' machines) and that you need entire teams to orchestrate those servers (among other things) opened their eyes to how comparable IT teams are to civil engineers.

I like to think they enjoyed learning about the process and will appreciate it more in the future.

Heh, i noticed a site recently for some framework or other that claimed it was "serverless". Meaning that it was designed to run inside a container or VM, and thus whatever hardware it ran on was not "your" problem.

I really do wonder what kind of accounting gymnastics this kind of thinking leads to, as at the end of the day someone has to pay the people that monitor and maintain the hardware, never mind the power bill.

I thank everyone for everything they do for me - not because I should but because I'm genuinely grateful whenever someone does what was requested of them.

I've not found that it's something that's repaid. If anything, folks are more motivated by the guy who shouts at them and never thanks them, because they want his impossible to win approval. The thankful person gets ignored.

There's probably a happy medium to be had somewhere.

I think you're being downvoted a little too harshly.

My comment to your experiences: I've been in your shoes. The solution was not to become cynical, but merely to find a better work environment.

When I was leaving my old job, the refrain from my peers was: "You're just running away. You'll face these problems in all jobs."

Never been happier that others were wrong.

I suppose I should thank people because I should, not because I want to.

I think I read this on HN long time ago, and it stuck with me - do you know the name of the cleaner working in your office? Why not?

I always try to learn it (by asking directly, but I'm a bit shy so it takes some time), and to show the appreciation for their work. It feels like a right, human thing to do.