Yep, iTunes or Image Capture... annoying. I have a Pavlovian reaction now, and I avoid plugging my phone into my Mac. While one can easily change the preference to prevent it, I've been caught out too many times, from reinstalling or using an alternate user account.

Having iTunes fire up while I'm using my Apple remote with VLC is even more annoying. And since it tends to catch me when I have company, I generally don't feel like pausing a film to fix it either.

The "asking" is implied when you enable or fail to disable the default action of auto running when a recognized device is connected.