Are the children going to feel a lot better if father is dead because he decided to cross the red light or or someone else did instead. They might, but they still won't have a father. So I'll go for less egregious, but I am not sure about the "far" part.

Is ambulance ride going to cost less because the person did it to the themselves or it was someone else' fault? I don't think it will.

Would you say that people shouldn't wear seatbelts, after all, they are just hurting themselves mostly? How is this different?

People shouldn't be required to wear seatbelts. Of course if they don't they also shouldn't expect the public to pay their medical bills via NHS, Obamacare, or what have you.