Thanks kaz, but I've already got the manpage bookmarked. I haven't looked at it in-depth yet, but it seems to be awk, but better, which is pretty awesome.

You can also completely ignore the "awk-but-different" TXR pattern-based extraction language, and just use it as a Lisp, too. The REPL is nothing but Lisp, and code stored in ".tl" files is treated as Lisp. TXR Lisp is designed to be a nice Lisp dialect on its own, not to just fill in the gaps in another language.

Well, yeah, but why have one awesome thing when you can have two? I have to finish reading the docs, so I know how it works, though.