> If we are all made in his image, a bit of him must have been gay, trans, fluid, etc. etc.

Or gender, like nationality and status under human laws, is an element of the material condition of humanity irrelevant to the manner in which humans participate in the image of God; consider, e.g., Gal 3:28: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (text from the NAB, but the sense isn't shifted in any other version that I am aware of.)

> If we are all made in his image, a bit of him must have been gay, trans, fluid, etc. etc.

> Or is this not how it works?

I think that the orthodox position would be that man was meant to be in God's image & likeness, but the Fall has warped the world and imperfections have crept in. Kinda like if I took a photograph of you, and then some random person came by and drew on a moustache.