I want a website that rates packages in npm with more possibly useful heuristics:

  num dependencies (shallow, deep)
  total size of node_modules
  installed size (correct use of npmignore etc)
  code quality (McCabe, jslint, jshint)
  typescript/flow/ jsdoc string types etc
  test coverage
  frequency of releases
  documentation coverage
  documentation text analysis: pretentiousness, overly laconic, bro speak
  has a F-ing README so we could at least have some idea what the hell it is
  number of blog and link references
  number of authors
  reputation of authors based on their other packages
  open/closed issues

Make the stats available so others can build indices and ranking algorithms based on these.