I really wanted to use 23andme, but they actually prohibit anonymous usage. I know of no place that offers the service I want, which is at minimum like 23andme with anonymity. Add the old-style medical stuff and/or full sequencing for bonus points.

The ideal would be that I can have a friend pay cash in a physical store to get the kit. There is no account. The package includes an ID code that I may look up on the web site to get results, obviously browsing over Tor from borrowed wireless.

Currently, it looks like I'd have to actually buy the equipment myself and sequence my own DNA at home.