You are so right. Which exactly points at the problem:

Multiple OS package managers (choose one), and for each language/framework/... that you use, one extra. Which includes headaches for how to handle overlaps between the two. One ought to take into consideration how others are handling these issues, just to ensure you're not alone.

I do not have concrete answers, but I firmly believe that it is possible to reduce the mental and practical efforts required for package and dependency management by somehow abstracting and disciplining the current solutions.

In this context, Guile and NIX are often named. Their stated goals, however, are generally about reproducibility of builds. Could anyone point me to discussions/documentation that specifically addresses the wildfire of dependency- and package management?

Since creating OS packages for the target OS can be completely automated, the failure to do so is a failure to make the computer do the work and automate the process.