political correctness easily gets in the way of the serious warning that should go out to the younger folks: stay the f*ck away from bash and its siblings! do not ever think it is a solution worth considering! abandon!

instead use something with a cross-platform interface (Python, Chrome or Lua, whatever), compile your own executable or use a compiler that targets bash.

besides, it is only a matter of time before the systemd trojan invades this area, and your newly acquired skills will be obsolete </sarcasm>.