More like a fundamentally stupid mistake of inverting my parameters when I checked the number, getting a result in tune with the article, and then not thinking it through at all. It'd be possible to have a whole great deal of families with 0.1st children, but that's just the egg on my face.
In fact, the only thing that matters for the distribution (once you know the mean) is the number of childless families, since they could have had a first born but didn't.
I haven't been able to figure out where 74% comes from. Is there some way to sample on a per-family basis to come up with this?
edit: spelling