> OTOH there's that quantum mechanics idea (that I don't understand) that a waveform only collapses into particles when observed by a conscious "observer"... seems very anthropocentric. Surely it can't be right.

It's not right; it's a nonsensical (yet common) misinterpretation. It's not possible to measure quantum things without affecting what happens - no consciousness needed, just really tiny experimental subjects that are affected by influences from outside the system being analysed. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_effect_(physics) and its Quantum mechanics section.