It's typical of people from both the East Coast and West Coast to think their experiences are representative of the whole country...
Just like it's silly for me to say everyone from the coasts ignores the middle, it's silly for you to imagine that everywhere is like Northern Virginia.
I think you have good intentions, but this comes across as pretty insensitive. Rayiner isn't saying every corner of the USA is sprawling suburbia; only that the huge NoVA sprawl outside of D.C. contributes against the average sprawling suburbia from being considered "open and alive". It's a debatable point without labeling huge groups of people.
Whatever makes the difference (zoning, local culture and traditions, socioeconomic status, ...), there are good and bad suburban areas; they aren't all lifeless, even if they do seem to stretch on forever in places.
Edit to add: suburban areas aren't meant to be experienced from a distance, viewing from the freeway. Looking from a distance at sprawling neighborhoods won't give one a good impression of what it's like to live in one of those neighborhoods.
And suburban sprawl is hardly "open and alive." Here in NoVA it's just mile after mile of asphalt and concrete with most of the greenery strategically planted as highway noise breaks and to separate subdivisions. If you want to see "open and alive" go to cities in Europe. If you start driving out of Amsterdam, it's crazy how quickly you're in the middle of dairy farms.