(Edit: That said, the difficulties with size, portability and dependency management in the Node ecosystem that were exposed by this particular project are more general flaws with that Node ecosystem and not specific to this particular developer.)
You got me curious about the application, by the way. If you let me know what it does, it might be fun to try and implement a prototype in node (with sane dependencies and easy to deploy on a RPi)
It really wasn't anything very complicated by database standards, just storing some settings in a central place. Those settings were a bit more complicated and inter-related in this case than you could conveniently store using something as simple as a plain text file, so a lightweight database was the next logical step. As mentioned before, it was the kind of thing where you could implement the basic infrastructure required within a few hours using more suitable tools.
So honestly, I really can't relate to most of what you said here :)
I might concede that the node ecosystem does have a disproportionate number of people with this mindset though :)
By the way, cross-compilation is also an option, although I haven't personally tried it:
https://github.com/mapbox/node-sqlite3/issues/249
A plus would be that only native modules have to be compiled, and only once. After that its possible to set up downloading them as binary blobs.
You got me curious about the application, by the way. If you let me know what it does, it might be fun to try and implement a prototype in node (with sane dependencies and easy to deploy on a RPi)