It was certainly not my intent to be distasteful; the feeling was not meant to be bring out the pitchforks but instead Sam I believe you are a top notch fellow, this seems slightly odd, put me at ease. If I phrased anything poorly, I apologize. Indeed, the other comments have done a pretty solid job of that.

If the question itself is distasteful, well, that's surprising to me and I clearly still have much to learn. Enlighten me?

It comes across as mud slinging. Like asking a rape victim in a very public situation "I know it is not really my business, and I do not mean to call you a whore, but how many men did you screw before this guy? And how were you dressed? And how much did you drink?"

You know, the most damning things are usually veiled accusations -- the sort of thing where it puts the accused in a position of looking like an overly defensive lunatic reading in something not there if they try to defend themselves while thoroughly dragging their name through the mud.

If it really doesn't matter to you, leave it be. Your curiosity does not have to be satisfied. Since he has stakes in this and this is apparently idle curiosity on your part, it just looks bad.

(I don't really care. I have zero skin in this game. I am just hoping that answers your question. I am weird like that about certain things. Shrug.)