When the proposal is a bit broader, i.e. "Let's fix the Bay Area", then, at the very least, it doesn't feel like a claim is being made on San Francisco by a specific tribe.
More than anything, it's the tribal nature of this issue that really sucks and it really stalls the things for everyone.
People truck in on a daily basis from New Jersey and Connecticut because there's highways and reliable (enough) rail options.
BART, from all accounts, is a total disaster and is about to completely implode. The rail project through the valley is anemic, completely inadequate for any serious commuter use.
If you can provide more options, stronger links with better commute times, you can live in places farther away without as huge a penalty on your time. It should be practical to live in Oakland and work in San Francisco, the two are so damned close, but it's a nightmare in practice.
Fix that and you're half way to solving this problem.
You make excellent points, and I don't mean to minimize the regional issues.
Sure, if I had a magic wand then I'd increase housing being built across the Bay Area. In fact, I'd like consolidate the jurisdictions in the Bay Area, but that's a whole other argument.
I don't quite know how to play out the claim that demand is infinite. One, I don't believe that. And, two, it seems like an argument that has us throw up our hands and do nothing. It's large problem that needs a large solution -- I've heard estimates in the 100-200 thousand unit range -- but I'd rather shoot for that goal than do nothing at all.