"Never-ever (NEVER EVER!!) let anybody (ANYBODY!!) shape your career."
Um... How does one do that exactly? I think you mean: Never-ever form a concept of how much other people actually do shape your career. Which is obviously stupid advice. Not that I don't find obsequiousness as annoying as you apparently do.
Sounds like a very personal story generalised to advice. Perhap it should be never ever let that asshole Tim shape your career. For example.
Bosses, Execs, middle manager, Team Leads etc can always throw a tantrum, but only with those directly under them.
So, your if team lead can throw a tantrum and get away with it, they will only do so with no one above them present.
It's about status and power. If they cannot get away with a tantrum, ask yourself why? Possibly it's because their underlings perform the same things as your advice advocates. What would such a boss do in this situation to consolidate their status?
- Shout back and stare down. Match such a person eye-to-eye. But don't take the heat personally. Simply play-back the game.
- Never-ever (NEVER EVER!!) let anybody (ANYBODY!!) shape your career.
- Rebuff the Lead/Architect: Tell him/her that this immature behavior will not be tolerated and if this continues, you will take your own direction and won't require his/her services as your lead.
However, sometimes ahole Lead/Architect are too powerful/influential and can actually impact your career. In such cases, don't waste time and apply elsewhere.