Somewhere I read about go it makes no sense to put stones on the area your opponent control because they will be captured. however
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in this case white has to put 4 stones (thus reduce area by 4) just to get 1 point. am I missing somethingIn Japanese rules you lose points for playing in your own territory. The black stone in your example is dead, and a reasonable player would allow it to be removed, but there's nothing stopping them from claiming it to be alive and forcing white to play to capture it. At this point the only option is for white to dispute its life status, and to duplicate the game board and make a hypothetical sequence of plays to prove it to be dead without actually playing the moves. There's a lot of added complexity for no real benefit, because the end result is usually identical.
The next AI challenge is to have the AI make an argument that will convince everyone to adopt the One True Most Elegant Ruleset for Go. (http://warp.povusers.org/go/RulesElegance/ is an interesting page, along with his proposal: http://warp.povusers.org/go/MyRulesProposal/)
The AGA system of pass stones, bringing area and territory scoring into alignment, is very nice, but I think it's still a bit abstract for someone who's just starting out.
If a human tries to argue that b is alive, then either (a) that human is a novice, you can teach them, or (b) that human is a poor sport, and you shouldn't play with them.
Japanese counting is like Chinese counting, but assumes your opponent is not a jerk without explicitly handling cases when that's not true.
So, in this case, the black stone is auto-captured, and you get the territory within as well.
So, yes, playing white stones to capture is actually detrimental to yourself. But also imagine if black keeps playing. They would be giving away free captures since black can never create eyes. And once the space is almost filled white can play 1 stone to capture all of the black stones.
Edit: Another way to imagine it is if neither player could pass. While yes White would lose territory as it played stones, it would be compensated by Black playing stones that will be captured in the end. Thus it becomes a wash, and thus why dead groups are auto-captured.
I think scoring and score estimating is one of the hardest things to understand (for full games I still often use a $5 android app where I just upload a picture of the board game, help it convert to an SGF, and then it auto-scores it, though sometimes it's faster to just count by hand), especially since there's multiple ways of doing it. With simple territory scoring when the game ends the dead stones that haven't actually been captured yet still get removed and added to the prisoners pile and the prisoners fill in your other territory so it might feel extra painful to lose stones... With area/stone scoring you still remove the dead stones but prisoners don't (directly) matter for the score, since you're just counting stones on the board plus uncontested area. But if a game was X moves with black having X/2 stones but white only having (X/2 - 10) stones on the board, clearly (assuming X is even and no passes, or if passes then giving up pass stones) 10 white stones were captured at some point, so there's already that relative difference in score before counting anything else. With some qualifications, the results (and the relative scores themselves) from each counting system will be the same. Thinking more about your relative score instead of giving each player actual numbers might help; I feel slightly better if I lost by 10 than if I had a negative score, say -5 to 5...
Does this help your self diagnosis? If the computer ignored a capture it's because it didn't actually lead to a lot of territory gained, whereas whatever move it played probably did.