They may yield this time. Especially if you are an important member of the team with some exclusive knowledge (i.e. you're the only one who knows the codebase for component Foo, and if they lose you they are screwed). But, they will likely be bitter about it. Try to force you to share your knowledge in the next few months and kick you out.
Again, I agree that it makes perfect sense to you as an employee to maximize your income, it's just business. But a lot of business owners, especially in startups, may take it personally ("How dare he want to leave us? How about our mission of making the world a better place? He's only in it for the money ????!!!").
So, long story short, I would amend this advice with not disclosing that you have an other offer and not setting an ultimatum.
Though if you truly know that you are valuable to your company and they are going to pay you what you're worth when you make the ask, no need to even get another offer. If it's such a good market you should have no problem finding another gig.
I'm in SoCal doing Ruby, Rails, JavaScript stuff and I was underpaid for the first 1.5 years at a new gig. Since I was confident I could get another gig paying 20-40% more with ease, I didn't bother getting an offer first, when I made the decision, I just went in the next day and took care of business.
Told my manager I have an offer on the table for FIFTY PERCENT more than what I was currently earning (no such offer existed), they matched it (including other perks), and then I was paid 1.5x more. Been here for another year since then, no problems.
YMMV, make the best decision based on your situation. This risk may not be worth it, but it sounds like you're in good standing with your company and provide them good value.
But you're right, I don't want to make anything personal, it's purely a business and career growth decision on my end. I love the company and what they stand for, but I don't like feeling like I'm being taken advantage of by being underpaid for my skill sets.
After working here for a while, I've noticed that the interviewees are lacking in skill sets and we can't seem to gain or retain top talent... which also leads me to think I have a leg-up on this as if I leave, they're screwed in certain areas.
This is why it's key to always have an offer some place you are willing to work. Never bring up an offer some place you aren't willing to work.
That said you have to respect an employer's investment in hiring and on boarding. Switching jobs every year is a problem for employers. I think 2 years is a minimum and 4 years is what I target. I also hate interviewing.
After 4 years all bets are absolutely off and my tolerance for making less than what I could make elsewhere for equivalent work is close to zero.
Feeling like your being taken advantage is something I think you should never express. One HN poster put it very eloquently. At the end of the month when you are paid you and your employe are square. You don't owe them anything and they don't owe you anything. By continuing to work there you are agreeing to trade the next month for what they have promised to pay you and no more.
Stay away from talking about the past. You can't collect on perceived past debts. That's also why I don't like to make compensation about performance. It's up to my employer to decide whether the business value I deliver is worth what I cost. If you have an offer in hand this is what you cost. It's not ambiguous or nebulous like performance and that's why managers love to talk about performance. Don't indulge them.
Sure I have felt taken advantage of, but it's not really your employer. It's the game. It's crap and we all have to work within it to maximize the value we can realize. Your employer is doing it and so should you.
And don't think I haven't lost with that strategy before. I have worked for people who did not recognize the business value I provided. It's not a big deal. It happens. You move on and maybe they are right or maybe you are right. Maybe the next thing is better than what you had or maybe it isn't
There is an element of knowing who you are talking to. You may even be the one to educate them on the economics of retention and BATNA and so on. I have found that even emotionally invested people can understand the economics of it and the need for their employees to do what is right for them.
It's a strange one that thinks that their mission is more important than someone's future. Probably someone you don't want to be working for anyways.
It's the truth and it's something any half way decent manager can understand. It's not personal it's just a typical business decision for both parties. Expect that they may not match immediately. They will try to get you to wait a year or till the next cycle. The response is that you don't want to wait or leave money on the table due to the time value of money and the risk you are shouldering. Either they concede, sweeten the pot, or pass.
If you do end up with future promises get it in writing signed by your manager. Read it and make sure there are no games.
I wouldn't bother with estimates or middle grounds. Where the rubber meets the road is what kind offer you can get somewhere else. You are asking for a pittance from them and for the most part unless it's a failing business they shouldn't care.