How Moving Is Linked to Losing Friends

Re:How Moving Is Linked to Losing Friends by quanticle on Monday February 29, 2016 @05:07AM (#11194559)

Is that actually a good idea, though? Schools in California and New York tend to be quite expensive. Moreover, it's arguably much safer for people, to move after college, when they have more maturity and an improved economic outlook than it is for them to move far away from home just after leaving high school. If a high-schooler gets into trouble in college, it's much better for them if their college is a couple of hundred miles from their parents and their existing social network, as opposed to being a couple of thousand miles away. It's much easier for kids who are marginal to get that extra support and attention, which can mean the difference between dropping out and graduating.

Certainly, in my case, I'm very glad that I chose to move away after college, rather than before. I had a hard time in university, and the extra support I got from my parents was crucial in getting me out with a diploma. I would not have had that support if I'd moved to California or New York for my computer science degree.

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Re:How Moving Is Linked to Losing Friends by yardie on Monday February 29, 2016 @08:54AM (#11195417)

I'm not so sure. I went to uni in a different state, 1000 miles from home. I was also one of those marginal students (low income, poor schools, poor neighborhood, single parent, etc). Freshman year, moving to a new state made me a bit monastic. While my new friends, who were in state, were going home, constantly hanging out with friends from high school I would spend my weekends studying, try new interesting activities, listen to music, etc.

Being so far from family just made me more self-reliant and resourceful. Example, my roommate would take a car load of laundry home every month because he didn't know how to wash his clothes and could not be bothered to figure it out.

While being self reliant prepared me for life it did not help with the studies. It took me a few years and a few failed courses before I really learned how to study. Not at the grade school level but at the university level. But that was not because of the distance to the school. Being first in my family I had no one to lean on. Now my siblings are doing much better because I was the first, took all the arrows to the chest and mentored them over the stumbling blocks I encountered when transitioning to university.

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