I was just attempting to inject a little humor into the situation while bringing attention to the fact functional and imperative are not necessarily mutually exclusive. In fact, I'm of the opinion that Haskell is the best imperative programming language. It's just really hard to explain why that is the case when the popular sentiment is that monads are scary and impossible to understand. In any case, these threads always devolve into ideological bickering which I try to avoid.