I went from Windows to using Ubuntu for years then to Mac only a few years ago. I really disliked the packaged management as well. Homebrew and seeing individual apps give me "an update is available!" pop-ups felt like such a step backwards.

However...what specifically are you wanting to install and update on Mac that a better package manager would significantly help with? I find on Mac I'm rarely installing or updating new packages so it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. As long as I can easily install and update Python, Node, Vagrant, Chrome and a few other things I'm happy.

I'd love a laptop that had a long life battery, good screen, good build, was light, ran an open source OS that supported all the software I need etc. but you have to compromise unfortunately and I can compromise on package management.