Try part-time freelancing. That's how I've been able to survive these last 5 years. I spend about 20 hours a week working for clients and the rest of my time (usually another 40 hours a week) I spend on my own projects. I don't make a lot of money, but I make enough to live on. And I get to spend most of my time doing what I love.

Freelancing is hard. It's especially difficult to get into a part time situation. Most clients don't want a consultant, they want an employee they don't have to file HR paperwork for. But if you network enough, you'll get there and it will be fine.

I think, if you can get out of the soul-crushing chasm of despair that is wage employment, you'll find that software development is indeed your calling. You just don't like being treated like a child in that calling.