First fix the grammar mistake ("insure"). Then put the Bottom Line Up Front. Bold it if possible.

Cut out the fluff like 'this letter is written' and 'a jump ball as to the success or failure.'

Rewrite the second paragraph with some verbs and a proper subject.

Not that any of this really matters in the end. The final decision was fully in the hands of management and NASA during a teleconference, during which argument was made.