Look at Scotland. They wanted an independence vote from the UK. It would have been historically peaceful and safe independence. They would have joined the EU, maintained close ties with England. But, when push came to shove, Scotland didn't want it, mostly because of anxiety. That's a real pressure valve. If Scotland really wanted independence (like Ireland did 100 years ago) it would have passed.
It would also put pressure on the EU to improve. I want more democracy too. It wouldn't be bad to have countries demand it to stave off EU-exit politics.
The fact that politicians are avoiding to do a poll with almost 35% (total of left + right parties) of votes to openly Anti-EU party (this was in 2012, I imagine it's more now, and this is only people voting for openly anti-EU parties, the real figures are obviously higher) is also seen really negatively and does not help at all to improve the general opinion of the European Union.
To me, it's a modern identity. I have geographically dispersed friends and family. I am speaking to you online, right now and we are speaking candidly about political issues concerning us together. I don't even know where your'e from (Hello, by-the-way.) I appreciate the right to live in other EU countries and I would feel violated if it was curbed. I respect other European's rights to live here if they choose.
That's it. There is a lot of movement, btw and I think it's a good thing. The italians living here for 2 years before college and the Germans living in Paris for a year. The cousin who married a French girl. Maybe their grandchildren will feel differently.
We don't need to be anything in particular. We just need to function a little better. We'll feel whatever we feel. Our kids will feel what they feel and hopefully they won't bomb each others cities ever again.