Just finished my second day in an 'open layout' office of 20 somethings as a front-end lead (react/redux) after working remotely from home with a small team of 'seasoned' pros for the last couple of years.
I'm sure there were some raised eyebrows when I showed up but that seems to have passed now mostly because they see I know what I'm doing. I've had a few moments of reflection wondering what the hell am I doing here but I love software development and made a conscious choice not to take the management route.
Had my first of 2 kids @ 40 and find when I start slipping into a regrets of what I haven't accomplished I see them and am reminded of my real purpose these days.
I still feel young on the inside but sometimes look in the mirror and have to acknowledge I'm not 20 something anymore and that's a bummer. But I was walking to work this morning pondering all of this and walked passed someone sleeping on the street and checked myself.
I remember the first time I saw Doug Crockford and had a profound realization that you don't have to outgrow programming. Seems silly now but not at the time.
My dad is 77 and can still kick my ass on a squash court so I try to focus on what is still possible instead of reflecting on what I haven't done.
From my (perhaps still rather young) perspective, both the best and worst thing about getting older is that I don't care as much about things.
The good part is that I stopped caring so much about having lots of friends, doing crazy things, partying/drugs, a fight with my partner, having a partner, pleasing/angering my parents, etc. But the bad part is that if I'm not careful, I end up not caring about anything. I forget to make sure I pick enough 'things' to care about, and before I know it I spent months just 'existing'.
But even just 'existing' sometimes feels preferable to me to the extreme ups and downs of (my) youth.
I'm curious, excited and a bit anxious about finding out how things will progress as I get older though...
Is that what all us 45+ programmers become?