I think one of the reasons people talk past each other on this issues is for lots of people, "OO" isn't the concepts that had been around under that name for at least a couple decades by the 1990s, but rather the particular mechanisms by which those ideas were realized in the popular OO languages of that time, most notably Java and C++. While for other people, Java and C++ are just examples of a particular approach to adding some OO features to an otherwise C-like language, and aren't definitive (or even necessarily very good, particularly in the early forms) examples of OO support in a programming language.

This leads to both a narrow idea of what OO is (mostly limited to the way those languages differed from C), and the idea that OO is incompatible with FP (because early Java and C++ had poor FP features, even though some earlier languages in which the OO paradigm had been supported had much stronger functional features.)