I'm not a mental health professional but I suffer from depression. It's not an extreme case but it's still quite painful. I urge you to continue striving to throw off that grey veil that shrouds life. I can assure you that the first glimpse of brightness and clear vision will come, even after weeks of crushing hopelessness.

Even when my brain's biochemical state is fucked and broken and makes me want to hide and disappear, I can remember that it will change and I will feel better and that I do have some degree of control over it. You seem very self-aware, which is an enormous challenge when one is depressed. That means that you have one of the tools to escape depression. Remember that.

It may sound trite, but fuck it. Just keep on going. You will feel better.

Edit: If you can, try to find a professional counselor or psychiatrist. If nothing else, they're exceptionally good listeners.