I don't know your personal circumstances, but I do know that there are roles for mathematicians to play in many areas outside of academia, and that your age wouldn't preclude these possibilities. If you haven't already, there would be no shame in beginning a PhD at your age (even some successful academics have done so).

We are all lucky and unlucky relative to someone else. I think time used on regret or "longing for what could have been" is simply time misspent, much like you might regard your childhood. Best of luck overcoming this natural tendency.

I was lucky in my own ways too!

Life is nothing but an inevitable race to the end. I try to take it slow and steady. Having some regrets is unavoidable! But it makes stories like this all the more sweet. Not all of us had the same chances but someone made it through and that brings a smile to my face.

>>It's not so much despair but longing for something that never could have been.

Providing an amazing environment for my children has erased all regret for my own childhood. I can see a new hope filled future with new eyes.

Yeah, same. Well, almost same. I have to remember not to be too eager!

Update: Also... kind of terrified of the public education system. No time for home schooling though. Damn circumstance!

I've know two really good parents that have claim that if you spend about an hour each day "detoxifying" the children when they get home that they can survive public school. They let their children know that the public school is a manufactured environment, how to combat child peering (where children look to other children for role models), talk with them about their frustrations, and generally spend about an hour discussing ideas of substance.

So far, it seems to work - the children have a certain detachment to the school environment and a mindfulness about them when they talk about their situation.