For example, sure, some minor book in the Bible might say that's it's kinda bad to be gay, but hating other people that disrespect a minor recommendation is contrary to the most important commandment.
There are many christian churches and religious groups that function more as social organizations than religious ones. I wish they organized around something besides religion as it would make it less confusing but I don't really have a problem with this. I just don't expect the same views and behaviors from them as I would from myself or from people who take their religious beliefs more seriously.
Most political leaders in the United States these days make only the most feeble attempts to convince constituents of their "faith". So it should not surprise you that this country is not a beacon of Christian values in policy or actions.
Another issue is that the Bible is quite thick, and it's very easy to forget that it's actually a collection of many different texts with very different importance, authors, meanings and context, and mistaking it with a coherent book to be taken to the letter. The tone of the Old Testament is very different from the New Testament, and people often forget that they were written at very different epochs, for very different audiences.
No. Something I stil haven't found a way to explain is that I can disagree with someone or even think that someone's very personal decision is not a good one without feeling ill will towards them.
One of the fundamental teachings of christianity that many non-christians (and some christians even) are not aware of is that a person does not need to be good to be a believer. A person who is convicted by god to believe in him IS good. So if every person on earth suddenly agreed with me and other christians on moral issues it would be a hollow victory without those people also understanding Gods love for them.
So I do not focus my efforts on moralizing the world or turning it into a theocracy. I focus my efforts on being an example of Gods love to those around me. I cannot fathom that someone who is truly gripped by their faith would wish death upon anyone. To me, whatever those people say, they need to be converted as much as anyone else.