Several of my friends, neighbors and family members have died. In none of those cases did I hear about it on the news and call to make sure it wasn't them. If I did that, I'd be doing it daily, because there are always car accidents, murders, suicides, organ failures and cancers in any city every day.

So what I mean is that for a small incident like this, it's usually not reasonable to check on your friends. If they worked in the WTC on 9/11 then their risk is higher so it certainly can be reasonable. Similarly for a tsunami or other disaster with a high death toll.