I have the same, but I don't think the fear is totally irrational. For me the fear is of being disliked and/or embarrassed by something I say or do. This is exacerbated by having the opposite of what the author of the article has - I read too much into negative social cues and take them personally. I don't have much capacity for going "oh, they're just having a bad day" - I take it on board and in my mind it's because of something I did or said. Unless I know someone well already, then I know their moods and can remove myself from the equation when they in bad ones.

For me it's a catch 22 as well. If I'm not feeling socially anxious then I'm relaxed and it's easy to have confidence. Then there is nothing to fear and I'm not reading into anything or taking anything personally and it's all very easy and fun. But if I'm feeling socially anxious then I'm more likely to come across as unfriendly or weird, read too much into social cues and feel negatively about myself at the end of the interaction. Which feeds the cycle.

Something that helps a lot is meditation and being in the now. It's very hard to be in the now during an anxious social situation, because your brain is trying so hard to distance itself from the situation and get you out of it with minimal damage. But acceptance of the situation and reminding yourself there's no lack and literally nothing to fear in the present moment can help. And definitely presence after a (maybe just perceived) negative social interaction can help a lot as well to break down the cycle.