throwawaydhd

Ah well, got to die of something.

If taking Vyvanse most days knocks a few years off my lifespan, it doesn't matter. I'm going to die anyway, eventually.

As we all are, ADHD-medicated or not.

> I've been diagnosed with ADHD but personally hate the diagnosis. I don't want to be viewed through that lens, nor do I want to view myself that way.

Totally with you on this. And I think I understand why some people make it their entire personality, but that just feels all wrong to me. To be honest, I regret telling anyone at all about it (outside of anonymised discussions such as this).

The way I see it, it's okay to feel really bad about being afflicted with this condition, and coy about acknowledging it publicly, while still quietly continuing to take the medication to mitigate it somewhat.

But it's difficult to come to terms with even so. I sincerely hope you find peace of mind.

> There’s a growing tendency for newly diagnosed ADHD patients to try to explain all of their mental habits and preferences through the lens of ADHD.

I've noticed this a lot on the ADHD forums. Agreed, it's uncomfortable to read.

Personally, I'm very embarrassed and ashamed of my ADHD (hence the throwaway account here), so I try to minimise what I consider its scope as much as I can. When I was eventually diagnosed, even though I sought out being investigated for ADHD, I was disappointed! I said to the psychiatrist, I was hoping you'd tell me it's something else. But no, it was ADHD, and the medication does help.

Also if I am explaining it to someone for whatever reason, I'll make sure to point out that it might be a reason for some things, but not an excuse. I hate the thought of not taking responsibility. I mean, it's still my broken brain at fault, even if I didn't break it myself.

Depends on the person. When I was undiagnosed, I got away with it for years because under extreme deadline pressure for my projects I'd sometimes manage to pull it off really, really well. And, to my shame, I got pretty good at bullshitting my way through progress meetings.

The rest of the time, I was a right mess. Changed entire careers twice because I figured what I was doing just wasn't my thing. Turns out it was more fundamental than that, and I'm doing better now medicated.

I know others afflicted with ADHD who had similar experiences of flying just under the radar of being fired, before they found out what was really going on.

Same here. In fact, when the psychiatrist was taking history in my initial screening, when I mentioned I'd taken cocaine but been disappointed with its lack of euphoric effect despite my friends enjoying it (it just made my face numb), she said that sort of previous reaction to stimulants was common in her ADHD diagnosed patients.

When I started on Vyvanse after diagnosis, the biggest effect I noticed at first was that my mind just felt quite calm compared to usual. No high or anything like that, just .. not as many uncontrollable thoughts rushing around my mind like they usually do.