stonewashed

This, very much. I need to keep myself distracted, otherwise I get very upset.

Yes, we have. Apparently it's close to impossible to adopt a kid for us, considering that we are in our 40's and that demand is much greater than supply, so they pick younger couples. Also, there seems to be a whole industry pretty much stealing children from poor countries and selling them to couples like us. I do not want to be part of that.

> I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore

So do I. Unfortunately I don't have any and most likely never will (the wife can't). Combined with an unfulfilling job, this makes most days quite pointless and hard to bear.

Personally I try to distract myself, not think too much about these things and just wait for it all to be over.