stoically
Now, why "automatically" for Add-ons that have the "contextualIdentities" permission? It's simple, if you grant an Add-on that permission, you already gave your consent that the Add-on can access the Container API; and the Multi-Account Containers Add-on itself being from Mozilla, is just additional Container functionality, but as an Add-on. So if you grant the Container permission, you also get API access to some additional informations from the Add-on; and with that increase interoperability between Container Add-ons.
There's also a discussion about implementing such an Isolation feature directly in Multi-Account Containers.
Also, you didn't effectively "agreed telemetry". The same way you didn't "agreed to sent all website data you visit to the Add-on developers" when you accepted the "Access your data for all websites" permission that the Add-on also requires. If you don't trust the Add-on or its developers, then that permission should scare you more than the "Monitoring extensions" permission. But as you probably know; it's just a wording you have to take with a grain of salt and a lot of Add-ons/Extensions require permissions which would in theory allow them to inject any arbitrary content in websites you visit, or read data from them for that matter. It's how permissions work.
Unfortunately there's no other way for us to check whether an Add-on that tries to access the "API" has the needed "contextualIdentities" permission. I can assure you that it's in no way about telemetry and never will be. If the Multi-Account Features would be a Firefox platform feature then such an API would have the same requirements.
Some of the multiple tabs issues have been fixed in version 6.0.0. And the upcoming version will fix them completely.
> They don't automatically switch back to the default container. That's a big problem
I've added an "Isolation" feature to the just published version 0.67 of the Temporary Containers Add-on that gives you several ways to avoid accidentally staying in the same container - including an option to only allow "Always open in" assigned domains to load in their container.