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starsixtynine

This is simply what happens when you pay people with very little knowledge large amounts of money to do something that requires expertise. I'm not sure why we're pussyfooting around that.

It would be like not knowing about loops or how to print text to the screen or how to do I/O. People seem to think you can be clueless and somehow still deserve a programmer's salary. The entitlement baffles me (and I've experienced a lot of it from people throughout my career).

A staff SWE who can't send you a patch is simply unworthy of their title, the way I'm unworthy of the title "pilot" or "doctor" or "attorney".

You forgot to include an explanation of what rebase does, which is important for knowing when to actually use it, instead of just specific goals you might have.
I'm sorry, but it's been ten years and you haven't learned how to handle other git situation? And then you're dependent on Google? Is there a reason why you haven't sat down to learn some more?
You first. :)