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It seems that the two of you are both talking past each other and missing the point.

You may find this diagram useful in distinguishing the three main perspectives on this issue: https://i.ibb.co/fYksYmpk/large-EJFVTys2-Urjglsct-IPJ3h-Dk-N...

It's also a left-wing position. See for example Kara Dansky.