humean

Reverse the races and look at how you'd judge a black equivalent. This one "smallest offense" would color your perception of the person permanently.

She just got her head bitten off on the public Internet. Some HR dude is probably looking for her right now.

At least by his own recollection. Anyone who is harboring that kind of hostility, whatever the cause, is going to exude pretty strange vibes in person.

What's disturbing to me is not that an obviously talented young person like the OP has these kinds of issues. He'll almost certainly grow out of them.

It's that so many older, wiser people, who obviously don't have personal problems of their own, seem intent on encouraging this way of thinking. Just because you think you're doing good, doesn't mean you actually are.

I would guess that the woman who stepped on the pendant land-mine had thought the pendant was some kind of Kenyan abacus. Or something. And phrased it very badly, because she sensed subconsciously that she was about to get her head bitten off for being a racist.

Naturally, she gets her head bitten off for being a racist...

Suppose, instead of just thinking, "Dumbwhite---," the OP had actually said out loud, "Dumbwhite---."

Would that be a firing offense, too? I'm sure it would be - I'm just asking to make sure.

From the OP:

Also, at some point after this conversation took place, one of the women looked at my prized necklace and said “Hey, that looks like a calculator, is that a calculator?”

I said “um no, it’s a necklace, it’s African, from Nairobi.”

And she replies “Oh, huh…..well, it looks like a calculator.”

Dumbwhite------

If this is an accurate recollection, the author is a seriously disturbed person who should not be in this or any other workplace. If this is not an accurate recollection... I'm not sure the conclusion is any different.

Certainly there are workplace shootings where the perpetrator appears to have a very similar attitude - the Omar Thornton case, for instance:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hartford_Distributors_shooting

Kixeye is obviously a company with a corporate culture in which people vigorously insult each other in a typical young male style. A similar institution is the US military - at least at the enlisted level. Race relations in the military are and always have been excellent, so perhaps the hypothesis that coarse humor is the cause of racial hostility could use a little more exploring.

I wouldn't want to work at a company like Kixeye, though. It's obviously an even worse fit for the OP. And that's not even to mention that this kind of office culture is actually illegal in our great nation, land of the free and home of the brave. This is irresponsible toward the investors, at least...