goatkey
I am not affiliated, but I recommend checking out https://www.forecastadvisor.com/ to see what forecasts are best for your city. I totally changed weather providers and it seems much better now.
'The Secret World of Weather: How to Read Signs in Every Cloud, Breeze, Hill, Street, Plant, Animal, and Dewdrop' by Gooley is a fun read for anyone interested in figuring out weather without a forecast (or to supplement).
- Get a dog! Seriously, going to dog bars, dog parks, and even walking the dog are all great opportunities for spontaneous social interactions.
- Group fitness classes can be good, even if you just chat with the instructor before or after class. Going regularly you're bound to talk with some of the other members.
- Arts classes (i.e., pottery) can be good, as it's usually a small group setting and you can chitchat while you're working.
Not the question, but another thing to consider is your body language when you're in those spaces. Try to be cognizant of it and present yourself to being "open" to conversation (especially in a bar setting). By that I mean, looking around, make eye contact, smile at people, don't be on your phone, and don't be afraid to say hi.
[edit: formatting]
OP may also want to explore mindfulness/meditation, which has been a huge QoL improvement for me.
Some resources I’ve found helpful: - Book: Adult children of emotionally immature parents - Book: How to meditate by Pema Chodron - Website on DBT: https://dbtselfhelp.com/ - Book: The Antidote: Happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking - Meditation Apps: Waking Up, Headspace, Ten Percent. Also, if you don’t like one, try another. They all have distinct styles.
Seriously though, do therapy and hop therapists until one clicks. I read on here once “you can’t read the label from inside the bottle.” This type of work significantly benefits from a good outside perspective.
Also, OP, be kind to yourself and, as another poster said, allow yourself to just exist for a bit
I think overall it comes down to trying to help them build empathy by showing them that they aren't the only one that will have to interact with what they build, as they are a part of a team.
An easy way to start is, like the parent suggests, with showing "How does making it easier to read or reason about ultimately benefit you?" (e.g., not having to be asked for help by junior engineers). The downside of this is it's kind of abstract, and ultimately a selfish motivator ("what benefits me?" over "what benefits the team?"), as another commenter mentioned.
One option that might be more tangible and team-oriented is to discuss design options as a team. Hopefully in doing so they can understand the complexity in their approach as other people ask questions. If you're able to structure in such a way, one trick here is to separate the design phase from the actual implementation phase. So, whoever designs the approach isn't the one that implements it (within reason -- you could also pair program here, with the whoever designed it as a reviewer and not the primary).
Some of this is also about them realizing what is obvious to them is not obvious to others. One tell here is if they use "why don't you just..." a lot when asked questions.
One phrase I use a lot on my team is "don't be a hero". Heroics in a team setting (willingness to write overly complex features, take on indefinite maintenance of code they wrote so others don't have to reason with it, etc.) are generally detrimental to the team overall. If they find themselves having the need to "carry the team" a lot, you could direct some of their energy/problem solving towards how they could help up-level the team overall or fix team processes.
Anyway, a bit of a ramble, but that's my 2 cents. YMMV.
She reviews all of the latest and groundbreaking research about anxiety, from older therapy tactics like CBT, to how it is a physical response (eg Body Keeps the Score by van der Kolk). It’s also easy to read (ie not overly academic).
As an aside, one thing that helps me, as others have alluded to, is to “just start” and/or break things down into very small tasks to get small wins. Eg, if you have to write a paper, just open a doc to start.
Also, adopting an approach of being ok with “just good enough” or “anything is better than nothing”. I find I get stuck because I want something to be very high quality from the start, but adopting the strategy of a brain dump or “sh*t first draft”, with the intention of throwing it away, has helped immensely, as I’ve accepted the fact that my first draft will be bad, and it is iteration that makes things good.
Untamed by Glennon Doyle is also great, though is more geared towards women.
Also, the stoics. I’m enjoying the practicing stoic by Ward Farnsworth. They’re surprisingly accessible
[0]: https://youarenotsosmart.com/2022/04/05/yanss-229-britt-fran...
Arts and Letters Daily: https://www.aldaily.com/
Lit mags: LRB, NYRB, Paris Review, McSweeneys
Lit-adjacent mags: Harpers, Laphams Quarterly
I usually follow a lot of these via RSS, and subscribe to some.
Beyond that, several newsletters. Astral códex ten (as already mentioned) and tomas pueyo’s uncharted territories come to mind.
The Browser is easily the best reading money I’ve spent in a long time. $5/mo and it finds such good articles.
You can get a lot of value starting off from just bodyweight exercises as well.
YMMV, but the app FitBod has done wonders for me.
I am sure they are still hoovering up all my data but I hope they at least heed the signal that some people will pay for ad-free alternatives!
The first time you have absolutely no idea what’s going on.
The 2nd - 4th times you are starting to get the hang of it and will see the slight derivations across different classes.
By the 5th time you’ve probably gotten enough exposure to be able to say “yeah ok this really isn’t my thing” or “these of the parts of this I really enjoy”.
I agree with other commenters that there is something important about weight lifting, though. Certainly having cardio as your main exercise is fine, but I think diversity of exercise is important, too.