faux0r

After reading your post and all your comments, I feel like your first step before making any other changes in your life is that something has to give with respect to the situation with your sibling, since it seems like you can't move forward with taking any big step without sorting out your situation as a caretaker. For example, can you somehow get the people who are supporting you right now to take care your sibling while you can't take care of your sibling due to school/work?

I'm sure you've been trying to come up with a solution regarding your situation with the sibling for a long time, and it must be a very difficult situation with no easy solution, but my opinion is that there has to be some kind of ultimatum so that you can go forward with your life as well.

I'm really careful as I write this as I don't know what your sibling is going through, and I don't mean a single bit of disrespect to your sibling, but is it possible that they won't commit suicide even if you aren't around to help? When faced with the prospect of destitution due to you no longer being available to provide 100% of your sibling's care, do you think there's a chance that your sibling would change and decide to finally take steps to gradually become independent? Since only you know what your sibling is like, you can disregard my comment if it's probable that your sibling will kill self when they're forced with no longer being able to continue their current shut-in lifestyle.

For a given field that I daydream about, I visit the subreddit dedicated to that profession. Especially given the rise in r/antiwork-like sentiment over the past few years, what I've noticed from many of these profession-specific subreddits is that many of the most popular posts from the last 2-3 years consist of people posting grievances about their field. Through reading about the most negative, stressful, and irrational aspects of a given profession, you defintely end up seeing that grass isn't necessarily greener in many cases.

While I realize that people who like their jobs likely won't make posts on Reddit to rave about their respective position, and that a subreddit is likely to attract people who want a place to vent (just as people are more likely to post online reviews about a business given a negative experience rather than a positive one), through reading about realities that many people face, I quickly realize it's not all roses & sunshine on the other side of the grass and each field comes with its own set of frustrating challenges.

What I do is may be a cynical way of looking at things, but especially if you currently have a well-paid, fairly comfortable position, you shouldn't take your current standing for granted, and realize that there are loads of people in other fields who'd rather be in your shoes.