fatherlessthrow

Men have a place. They’re necessary for the continuing existence of Ukrainian society, and the nation itself. Women know what a good man is, and search it out — and so if you are a good man, you will be fine on that front. You can be terribly un-ideal by modern sensibilities, but if you are a reliable man that can provide for his woman, and the family — you have done your job.

The corollary is that if you do not fit into the men “mold,” you will not prosper. Most men in the Western countries would not have a place in Ukraine or any slavic country (except as an ATM) — because the values needed to be internalized are at odds with more polite societies.

This is true in much of Russia outside Moscow, St. Petersburg, etc. (the more metropolitan and “Western decadent” parts of Russia).

Provocative notion, but I agree. n = 1 : no father, but had some stabilizing male influences in my formative years.

People without good enough “father figures” turn out emotionally volatile. I see it in myself, and I see it in others. Sometimes, emotions should be observed and not yielded to. “Toxic masculinity” is just taking this to the extreme of disregarding all emotions. “Toxic femininity” is just yielding to all of one’s emotions. It mirrors the narcissist:BPD relationships (absent, cold, and self-absorbed man; next to the hysterical, ever-present, and needy woman).

A healthy person has cultivated both aspects of themselves in moderation (learning to listen to and identify one’s emotions, and having the good judgement to know when they should and shouldn’t be allowed to continue) — this is usually best done by emulating others with this healthy outlook, most commonly with a healthy mother and father (but with the dissolution of gender norms, gender doesn’t matter on the surface, so long as the people involved have nurtured both parts well).

The best way to raise boys is in a village with all sorts of people to learn from. The worst way is to neglect them and let them figure out life for themselves.