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That's really horrible. It's as bad as "You can't love someone else until you love yourself," and "You're nobody until somebody loves you," and "Happy wife, happy life." All awful sayings.

It's perfectly possible for one spouse to love their spouse but not themselves, or to be right when the other isn't, or one to be happy when the other isn't. It's understandable to want to help your spouse to become right or happy or whatever, but a saying like the above is one of those memes that people repeat without fully thinking through what it actually means. And what it means is terrible.

4 decades? Are you planning on murdering your potential spouse in your 60s (since you seem to be implying that divorce is too costly)? I'm in my 40s and hope to still be married in 40 years!