diu7sieQuee9jai

> sounds like hypochondria?

I can assure you that I have considered that. Still do. But ultimately, that would mean "learning" to not believe my own physical reality. I'm very much into intersubjectivity, but this is the one exception. That would be different if any of those doctors had actually seen me during an episode. The only time that happened however was when I was visiting friends. I had an episode while just hanging out there (holiday season stuff) and there happened to be a physician in the house when it hit. That guy never asked whether what I'm feeling was real. So it's that guy and me, vs a bunch of people who have never seen it happen.

They probably meant "here here I'm a peer, I'll review for food." ;)

Well maybe now we'll get some more interest in it... Hooray! /s

I have been dealing with something that sounds very much like what you describe. It started a few years ago. At the moment it is manageable. I've been in and out of many many doctors' offices. Bloodworks actually indicated a recent (but past) EBV infection, that's why your post rang bells with me.

Would you have pointers to how to nail this down? Introductory material or such?

I have to say I really feel your description of the anxiety cop-out. I literally had doctors shouting at me "you are not sick what are you doing here" at some point when I was sitting there already nearly crying because once more I was sitting there, mostly fine, when a few hours ago I was barely able to get up, let alone get on a bike to go to a doctor. And yes, "anxiety disorder" was diagnosed, but no treatment... because I guess the solution is just to "man up" right and stop being such a wussy. :(

Edit:

since others are sharing their experience of the cognitive impact, I'm gonna chime in here.

For me, the episodes came in two flavors:

1. I was feeling weak, and felt like falling. That was both in reality (I was having trouble staying upright and had to lean and hold onto everything and anything while standing/walking) and in my head. It wasn't so much that the world was spinning. It was more like sitting on a chair, rocking back and forth on the hind legs only. And then the moment when you realize you lost your balance and are going to fall over backward. That feeling.

2. I was also feeling weird but had no trouble with balance. However, the whole world suddenly seemed unreal and far away. Like seen through a bad CCTV screen.

Needless to say, both of those states, experienced at random times over months and months, with no explanation, and little support from doctors who were either uninterested or seemed to think I was just seeking attention, did indeed make me more anxious than I ever was.