businessman0001
businessman0001 on Hacker News
You are better off not being a relationship which hurts you, more than being in one just for the sake of it.
To blame dating apps, hookup culture, divorce rate etc is extremely easy. And I understand the personal frustration and as someone who has never been in a relationship, never had sex, I don't think I'm missing out on anything, yes, I do yearn those things, but honestly, you really can't force things to happen, and life is not a movie, nothing is guaranteed.
This is his description.
> Non-Tribal Truth Seeker-IEEE Barus Ethics Award/9–11 Whistleblower-Aerospace/DoD Systems Engineer/Member SAE Autonomy and eVTOL development V&V & Simulation
But since this is already here, here's my take.
There's no benefit for a woman to be mother nowadays, let alone being a widower or in an abusive household where the woman needs to rear the children while bearing the brunt of all the violence from the husband, and it's perfectly legal to do that in Russia. I think even abortion is illegal in Russia, correct me if I'm wrong.
Communism didn't emancipate women, as it claims, yet.
The problem with these clauses is that people can exploit you.
If you consider the current system as status quo, and the elites in New Delhi, definitely benefit from it.
But I believe it is going to change. Mainly, due to the nationalists, of the Hindu kind. They want to bring in Indian ethos or so they say and that would probably mean the end of Democratic processes. It would be like Hindu version of Chinese Communist Party.
I do agree, but the thing here is that, we are now in a setting where individualism has been able to replace every single person. In an atomized society everyone is replaceable.
I'll give you an example which is very real, in Japan you can rent a person, say you want affection of a father(because your real father was emotionally absent), and brother etc. You can experience them. Although in the west, it is not done due to many reasons, but it makes sense to have these paid services where a person who is a complete stranger can pretend to be your father or brother.
The rest of the professions are meant for hire anyway.
I think the only relationship which seems to be unconditional love is between mother and sons, because women obviously like their children more.
What I meant by men are not needed, is that men are not needed for protection(the state protects you with Police, and Armed forces), for finance(no need for husband's salary or dad's inheritance dangled like a carrot in front of you) when you can find a job through education, the law protects you legally in many ways, the society now is pro-women than it ever was and that's a good thing.
Men are not explicitly needed by women anymore because the system set up civilization now makes men being implicit supporters and protectors of women. And it's completely good, because they are no longer in the shackles of men wanting to be protected. They can be themselves and choose men they feel like it.
Maybe this is the harsh truth many men don't want to acknowledge or feel uneasy when they look at the facts and figures and these articles blindly say men need to somehow figure out to be not lonely and single. What if I'm a shy person or a depressed person or a lazy person or simply an ugly person? Some attributes are immutable and they become a part of one's personality and outlook and from this point, it makes sense why people recommend therapy to cope with the idea that you need to accept who you but still put out the best parts of you and hopefully those best part guide you to become a more rounded person, even if you don't end up being a well rounded person, you will find yourself surrounded by people who accept you and at least that will make you feel well rounded.
There is a lot of untruth in this statement and I will tell you why, because I was literally living this lifestyle. I'm not saying I still continue to accept these ideologies. The problem with these people is there is a huge gap in the wants vs have within men nowadays, i.e., they want something, but do not put in the effort. If things were easy, then would it make any sense? You wouldn't value what you have.
There's a sense of lack of values, morals and humanity within these communities and they perpetuate all the bad ideas.
Instead of repeating the grief cycle and trying to break out of it, they continue to wallow in this grief cycle. There's actually a diagnosis which is called prolonged grief disorder.
While pain is good for growth, grieving without a closure and trying to continue it without the presence of personal morals, values and humanity is dangerous. Humility is extremely important, and people nowadays don't seem to have it.
Sure, the most intolerant minority and the most vocal minority pushes the change. This is how the feminist movement started and that gave way to women being liberated. They focused their energies/anger into the right direction.
Promiscuity is something of a completely different topic.
The truth is women don't need men anymore. Men can be dead tomorrow collectively and women will not even notice. And this is the state of affairs we are dealing with. That's why women say they want a "high quality" man. Do what you want with that information, it's certainly not an easy thing to digest for a lot of men, because they themselves would not put themselves in the "high quality" man box.
The loneliness crisis is definitely a superset of the incel subset, but they can be independently treated because incels could be psychologically unwell.
The past two years increased the number of people pushed into this loneliness crisis well, and sadly it is not good for anyone.
But the main topic here is talking about men, so it is legitimate to talk about the "incel" problem. And definitely the writings are there, lonely angry men are both a danger to themselves and society.
Even if the remove the "incel-ness" of the "incels", you still have lonely men who could join the large superset of loneliness sufferers. And the economy is another factor in the equation why there is this crisis.
But a large group of men are definitely lonely, that's for sure.