awaythrowwwww

Yes, and from experience when South Asian people (especially women) get to experience this free-agency dating thing we have in Europe and America they suddenly become very reluctant to switch back to their arranged spouse. Strange how these things go.

I don't understand what you said. I also don't understand what children have to do with this and how they relate in any way to the amount of sex one may have beyond "once or twice".

If anything, our evolutionary history indicates a promiscuous lifestyle with everyone having sex with everyone else and post-spermatic competition.

Online dating is a tiny, tiny blip in the world of dating. Dating itself is a uniquely American practice and a tiny, tiny blip in the world of sociosexual dynamics. People meet, hook up with and bond with each other in all sorts of creative ways that goes way beyond Tinder, Bumble and Okcupid. If your only outlook on this stuff is through the lens of apps owned by shady companies optimizing for user engagement, you're going to have a skewed and miserable worldview.

Are you implying that our ancestors have had only as many sexual relations as they had children?

"I mean, the 80/20 rule is seen in all kinds of places"

Sorry, repeating the same point won't make it any more true. Still haven't seen any evidence for this stat, only American stereotypes.

It's hard to track people's sex lives for obvious logistical/ethical reasons, but the most accurate study I've read on that was about teenagers in a high-school in a small rural town, so a closed environment that's easy to control. Forgot the link, will track it down if you're interested. But basically the "sex encounter" graph was fairly evenly spread and evenly balanced between men and women. Sure enough there were "clusters" but they were engaged with each other, not monopolizing 80% of everyone.

As it turns out, if your social circle is made up of sociosexually unrestricted people, everyone involved is going to have lots of sex. If it's made up of restricted people, few people are going to have encounters. But one person or two keeping all women in a sort of "serial monogamous schedule" while they do liteally nothing else? That doesn't make sense and I've never seen it happen, nor have I read any actual scientific study about this.

"Arranged marriages were quite a success story"

If that were true people wouldn't automatically switch to love marriage when uncoerced. My experience of dating people from cultures where arranged marriage is still a (dwindling) thing tells me that no, they absolutely wouldn't go back to the days where it was prevalent.

"But they learned to make do and be happy in the end!" is not an argument. It can be used to justify literally any practice, because people always strive to be happy even in the worst conditions.

Seriously, what's with people wanting to coerce other people's romantic lives? When did we switch from "live and let live" to "the state should give me a girlfriend"?

I see the "women go after 20% of men" line repeated over and over again as if it's some sort of self-evident truth. Aside from the fact that people who spew this line generally go on to justify why women's agency should be reduced ("enforced monogamy" or whatever that means), I have never seen any evidence for this stat. And no, how people behave on dating sites is not an accurate representation of social dynamics at large. It takes a certain kind of personality to go on dating sites and American men and women on Okcupid don't represent all men and women in the world. Dating apps also highly bias the way you engage people with undisclosed algorithms and shady practices aiming at maximizing your time on their apps. They don't have people's best interests at heart and influence them as part of their business model.

But seriously, think about the implications of these numbers: do 8 women just patiently wait in line for 2 men, doing literally nothing in the meantime while the remaining 8 men just stare at their feet or something? Is it something that people think actually happens in real life?