amygdala_panic

Yup, this is a definite wall in my career too. There is simply no way to get where I want to be, if I can't calmly explain stuff to my boss's boss. I dread being discovered as "that guy who gets really nervous". And of course that makes it worse.

Stay strong, brother.

Right, the debilitating physical symptoms are the thing. It's not about being a good or bad speaker. Like you said, I'd be happy to get to the point of just being a plain "bad" speaker. There are times when even reading the words on a slide, verbatim, is excruciating. It's an entirely irrational autonomic response.

TBH this seems like the best option. I don't think my mind is actually nervous. I know my material, I'm happy to share it. It's the stupid lizard brain thinking I'm about to fall off a 100ft cliff and cutting off the blood supply to my brain and giving me dry mouth and deregulating my diaphragm. It's a STRONG physiological response, but I think without those physical effects and feedback loop I'd be fine.

Anyone been able to overcome panic attacks while public speaking? Medication seems like a hassle. And most advice is just obvious tips ("know your material!") that doesn't address the physiological problem.

My first talk was in front of a many-thousands-attendees conference and I didn't have a problem. It was fun. I've for years enjoyed speaking in front of groups. Never enjoyed doing the exec presentation per se, but I'd done it before and was comfortable with it. Then at two back-to-back jobs, two managers told me I wasn't actually good at it, neither speaking in front of crowds nor communicating to execs. Basically, they said I sucked at it. Thanks a lot :-(

Now I have the pleasure of enjoying a nearly crippling fear of talking in groups. My brain blanks. I stammer and repeat the same thing over and over. I simply can't find the words, and the longer the pause extends, the more I probably look like I'm having a stroke.